Update from the IAS Conference

HIV 101

Sero-sorting

Remembering Chris Clason

Living With(out) Crystal Meth

Losing a loved one

HIV 101

I have had a subscription to Positively Aware for over 10 years. I share it with clients and volunteers and have found it very useful. The September/October issue, “Everything you always wanted to know about HIV,” is outstanding and I know will be very useful for my new volunteers and those recently diagnosed.

Marge Mazza Schumann, Director,
HIV/AIDS Ministry, Catholic Charities, Stevens Point, WI

Back to top

Sero-sorting

In Jack Degnan’s excellent article in the September/October issue of Positively Aware, he refers to “sero-sorting” as a prevention method. I am not clear just what this term means. Could you clear this up? Thanks.

Brian McNamara, Marlborough, MA

Editor’s note: Sero-sorting is a term that refers to the practice of choosing one’s sexual partners based on their HIV status, generally used as a prevention tool. For instance, an HIV-positive individual may choose to have sex with only other HIV-positive partners, while an HIV-negative person may choose only negative partners. However, it is by no means a fool-proof method for those who are negative to stay that way. There is a window period of up to six months after an unsafe encounter before antibodies to HIV may show up in a blood test.

Could you let Jack know I really enjoyed his piece on serosorting? It was a nice combination of personal feelings and information. I wrote a similar piece in ACRIA Update’s Summer issue, so I know how he feels. If enough of us keep speaking, maybe the word will finally get out!

Mark Milano, New York City, via the Internet

Back to top

Remembering Chris Clason

TPAN produced a short video for the recent 20th anniversary celebration and as a result, we heard from a long-ago member who saw it through his work with the AIDS Treatment Activists Coalition (ATAC). The “guy named Chris” he refers to was our founder, Chris Clason. I just think it’s a testament to his work, and to the work that we all do. Chris Clason passed away in 1991, but his work lives on. Among other things, it was his mimeographed and photocopied newsletter that became Positively Aware, and the vital support groups continue to be strong.—JB

When I lived in Madison, in the late 80’s (1987 maybe) right before I started treatment and when Madison did not have a good support group—or access to the support group was guarded by the case manager from the local start-up ASO [AIDS service organization]—I drove down to Chicago a few times and met with the guy who started TPAN and several others. We were all in “it’s a time to revolt” mood because we felt the larger ASOs viewed us as a commodity they owned and did not give us access to leadership roles or even a say in the services they delivered. We felt we were supposed to get sick and die with beatific smiles of gratitude as our “buddies” guided us to the light; maybe provide a photo op or two also. I think this guy’s name was Chris, and I liked him, and I hope he was part of your 20-year anniversary.

Pat, via the Internet

Back to top

Living With(out) Crystal Meth

I just found this article online [July/August 2005] and was very moved by it. My son is a crystal meth addict, and his story is so much like Eddie Young’s. He actually entered treatment at Pride Institute in Eden Prairie, Minnesota, July 3 of last year; after four relapses and several short stays in treatment again, he was finally approved by insurance for 60 days of Extended Care. He has now been sober for almost 5 1/2 months. Apparently Pride Institute is one of the very, very few drug and alcohol treatment centers for the GLBT community, and I applaud them for their work. This is a fierce illness, and crystal meth has gripped that community with a death grip, but it can’t win. Truth, love, recovery—those are all stronger than this drug. My son calls quite often and tells me about the meetings he attends as well as the importance of his sponsor in his recovery. He is working full time again and is getting back on top of his finances. Eddie’s story is typical as well as unique. I know that each person has a story, a history, a sadness, and of course happiness too. Sometimes the joy has been forgotten and left behind, but it’s still there, waiting to be found again. The most important thing is to believe, really believe, that recovery will happen. Eddie’s story helps in that regard, and I see in my own son’s story that even though it is the hardest work he’s ever done, he really wants to do it for the result he’s seeing. He’s back into life again, and in life, there is joy. I urge families, loved ones, friends to get their own help as they try to help the addicts in their lives recover. It’s only when we realize ways in which we may have unconsciously contributed (enabling behavior, you know) to the continuation of this disease that we can let go of our feeble attempts to “control” or “fix” our loved one and begin our own path to recovery. And from our experience, our recovery has helped our son to gain control over his own life and stop using excuses. Thank you for publishing the story online.

Jan, Vermont, via the Internet

Back to top

Losing a loved one

I’ve been reading Positively Aware for several years now and have wanted to write several times. The editor’s note from September/October 2006, “Who Will be There for Us?” was timely and so well written. Many thanks to Jeff Berry for writing such a powerful and sensitive piece. The paragraph that really got me was: “One day when we were alone together, I finally got up the nerve and just spoke from the heart. Among other things, I told her how much I loved her, and asked her if she knew how much she meant to me. I asked her if she knew what a good mother she was. She looked deep into my eyes, and for an instant we connected as though we were one, and she told me no, that she didn’t know that, but that she had always felt it, from the moment she had first held me as a baby.” Yours was a wonderful note—the universal theme of losing a loved one. I’ve re-read your story multiple times as well, partly for my connection with my mother and Claudia (my birth mother—I was adopted) and my partner, who are all alive. I read your story knowing that there are difficult times ahead of me, and I ask myself if I have the strength to get through loss. I tell my mom and Claudia that I love them. I love my partner and support him in his decisions, even when some of them seem counter to being and staying healthy. I’m almost 40, HIV-negative, and fairly healthy—the hardest, yet most profoundly wonderful thing I have ever experienced was choosing into a relationship with a man who is HIV-positive. When it comes down to it, HIV is a non-issue—I love the man, regardless. Your words help me appreciate each and every day and not see life through a lens of loss or potential loss. I’m not always graceful about it, but at least I’m aware. Thanks again for being so brave and writing such strength through vulnerability.

Donavan, via the Internet

Back to top